The School that Stopped God

Antioch College Campus

It was a weekday luncheon. I entered Beavercreek Golf Course's Clubhouse for a Greater Dayton Sectional pastor’s meeting of the Assemblies of God. News had just broken that Antioch College was under tremendous financial pressure and would be closing its doors. A pastor made a comment to the effect of, “Now that ‘that’ place is closing, perhaps our Yellow Springs church will have a revival and God will be able to move.” At that time, I was a student of Antioch University McGregor (AUM), another college in the university’s system. Even though that pastor did not realize that I was a current student of AUM, quite honestly, I could not believe what I had heard. And, my mode of action was silence. If you do any research on Antioch College, you will find it was probably the most liberal college in the country. However, it had declined to the point of less than 200 students. Hence, that presented the need for it to have to shut its doors.

AUM Campus

 If you are a regular reader, you read last post about Joe from my pastorate. My experience with pastoring Joe was the beginning of my spiritual / emotional transformation. Antioch was a continuance of the process. My very first class was called Self and Society. I will never forget the first 30-minutes of that class experience. You know the drill. The professor introduces his/herself. Then, the students take turns singing their own praises. Well, I could not believe the diversity of people, backgrounds and beliefs represented in that classroom. And, the white, conservative, Christian (pastor, none-the-less) male was definitely in the minority. I remember thinking, “Mike, what have you gotten yourself into?” As the introductions continued across the room, one white lady shared her story. It went like this, “I am a lesbian pagan and my partner is a black lady.” I nearly pooped my pants. Her statement of being grated against EVERYTHING that had been poured into my psyche since birth.

Time passed. I learned to be more tolerant and loving of people. And, people learned to be more tolerant and loving of me. I remember one class in particular. Someone was ranting and raving about the stupidity of “conservative Christians.” I spoke up and proclaimed, “Why is it at this school anything goes and is OK except conservative Christianity? You are all hypocrites if you say you except anyone as they are but you do not accept conservative Christians.” I immediately got an apology. And, my days at AUM were the most wonderful and enlightening days of my life. It was amazing to see how people would migrate to me to share situations they were going through, get my insight and ask for my prayer; including gays, lesbians, pagans, atheists and agnostics. I would have rather been in that position than in any pulpit in America!

Didn’t Jesus say to GO into the world and teach His Gospel? He didn’t say, “Go build your churches and keep people out unless they are just like you.” I really, really think that if Jesus were in Yellow Springs, OH in the flesh, He would not have been at the local Assembly of God. He would have been at the campus of Antioch. He would not have been appalled at the lifestyle of people. He would have reached out in love and compassion. He would say, “Those without sin cast the first stone,” and, “Go and sin no more.”

Is God so impotent that He lacks the power to move in the midst of what Christians term different, or, what they consider sin? I am here to tell you that the God I serve is neither powerless nor impotent. He moves in the hearts of people who willingly trust, accept and believe in him.

Oh, remember the white lesbian pagan who was partnered with the black woman? She is one of the dearest people I have ever met. We are still friends. I adore her. To be quite frank, I would rather spend time with her than many pastors or “Christians” I have met in my walk of life. No, my God is bigger than any pastor, denomination, fellowship, church, or school. Just get over yourself and your religion and He will show that to you, too.

The Truth (Chapter 7)

The Pastor's Spouse

There is nothing more precious to a church than the pastor's spouse ... usually. If you are a member of the congregation, chances are great that they are probably your greatest ally in dealing with the pastor. If you are a staff member, perhaps so, perhaps not. Following are some of the characteristics I have experienced with pastor's spouses. Some pastor's spouses have one of these traits while some have a mix. And, there are those jewels out there who really are as close to perfection as you may think they are. You just really never know until you experience a few situations. And, remember that your pastor, their spouse, their children and their extended family are only human. So, be sure to cover them in prayer when you run across an unhealthy situation. But, here is what you need to be aware of so you can pray and plan your strategy accordingly. Yes, you MUST have a strategy to survive church leadership.

• The Gossip: Here is a tip. If a pastor's spouse, or anyone else, talks to you about another staff member, a member of the congregation, etc., you can rest assured that they are gossiping about you. If they aren't today, they will be tomorrow.

• The Good Guy / Bad Guy: This is the spouse that sends you out to do the dirty work for them. If some unpopular decision needs to be carried out, they send a staffer out on the mission. Then, when the staffer has taken the fall for the action, they come behind them playing the good guy and comfort the broken-hearted. All the while, the poor staff member has taken the fall and nobody is aware that the comforter is actually the bad guy.

• The Jealous One: I have actually seen a church ripped to shreds by a jealous spouse. And, they were so good at deflecting blame I doubt if many, if any, realized they were at the heart of the issue.

• The Screener: This is the pastor's spouse who insists that staffers bring all questions or concerns to them prior to taking them to the pastor. If they are on your side, then presto, you're in! If they are not on your side, look out. You will probably stand a snowball's chance in "you know where" of accomplishing your mission.

Bottom line, be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove. Realize that church work is much more difficult than secular work. This is due to the fact that in addition to dealing with work situations, you are also dealing with hearts and souls. And, most importantly, usually egos the size of Texas. So, tread carefully and prayerfully.

Keep the faith,

Mike

The Truth (Chapter 6)

Now, Isn't That Special?

I haven't watched a lot of Saturday Night Live through the years. But, I have kept a pulse on it and have my favorite characters. One of which is the Church Lady, portrayed by Dana Carvey. If you don't know by now, the Church Lady exists in every church. I have actually become pretty adept at recognizing her, or sometimes a him, on the spot. In this chapter of "The Truth," I want to just share some highlights of a few of the "special" encounters that I experienced throughout my ministry years.

Church Plants and Leaves

• In the midst of pioneering our first pastorate, both Donna and I were holding secular jobs in addition to building the church. Additionally, we were caring for Donna's mother who was dying with cancer. During this season, a strapping young and healthy twenty-something-year-old young man who belonged to the church walked up our home's sidewalk and said to me, "Wow, Mike. You need to get out here and clean the leaves out of your gutters."

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire

• Speaking of church ladies, they usually tend to be the gossips. One Sunday afternoon, after I had preached a sermon about gossip and how damaging it was to the church, I received a visit from a church lady. During a two-hour not-so-pleasant session, at one point she looked at me with a glowing detest in her eyes and said, "When you were preaching, I was so mad at you I could have doused you in gasoline and set you on fire!"

Church Politics and Prayer

• We traveled thousands of miles and attended an annual convention of the denomination of which we were a member. The denomination had pre-made signs of the cities where they were raising church plants. During the capstone service, they called the church planting pastors up to raise the sign representing their city. The other pastors were called upon to lay hands on the pastors and pray for the church planters, their churches and their cities. Out of thousands in attendance, Donna and I stood alone holding the Dayton, OH sign. Not one pastor prayed for us. We obviously weren't "connected" enough in the political spectrum to warrant their prayers.

Church and Shotguns

• One Sunday, my elderly father had forgotten his Bible in the car. He went out to get it and a first-time guest was in the parking lot. He looked at them and told them, "I forgot my shotgun. I just came out to get it." Of course, he was referring to his Bible. But, it nearly scared the first-time guest away before they even made it into the building.

Under the Table

• A faithful member and volunteer in the church approached me asking to be put on the church payroll. The only condition was that we could not pay him, directly. It would have to be reported under his wife's social security number so he would not lose his SSI.

He Was a Great Man, But...

• My mom passed away a year after we planted our first pastorate. My dad, God love him, was a great supporter of the church. However, he could not bear the thought of living alone and was constantly looking for a wife. What better place to meet a woman than in church? Dad would date ladies both inside and outside of the congregation. Sometimes dad might have two or three women he was dating at the same time, in the same service. It was very interesting watching which one he would actually sit with. Damage controlling dad's dating within the congregation was sometimes overwhelming. At his wake, a church member looked down in his casket and very lovingly and respectfully said, "He was a great man. But, he sure loved his women." We couldn't help but share a chuckle.

Beer or Cigarettes, Anyone?

• Our first meeting location for our church plant was in the Berry Rooms at the Ervin J. Nutter Center, a major sports arena in Dayton. One Saturday evening there had been a major rock concert in the arena. The next morning, we had church. The arena staff hadn't had much, of any sleep and had not had time to clean the parking lot. So, there were beer cans and cigarette butts all over the place outside. A fellow minister friend came to "support" us and visit service. Much to my disappointment, they called the arena office on Monday morning and vehemently complained that they had to walk over beer cans and cigarette butts to get to service and how unacceptable it was. Our very pleasant relationship with the Nutter Center was negatively impacted because of this attitude and phone call. We soon had to find a new place to host our worship services.

Five Most Dreaded Words

• The five most dreaded words I ever heard in ministry were, "Pastor, let's go to lunch." That usually meant a complaint session over something I had preached, how I preached, what I should have preached, something I had done, something I hadn't done, or something I should be doing. Hey, at least they usually picked up the tab.

Support Me, I'm a Missionary

• In the early days of my last pastorate, I was sitting in the office and glanced out the window. A shiny new Cadillac was pulling up to the door. A sharply dressed gentleman comes in and introduces himself as a missionary. He is at home raising funds for his mission. We share a nice conversation. That evening, Donna and I go out to eat at Olive Garden. The same missionary is in line and we asked him to join us. During the dinner, he shared that when he returned to the mission field, he was taking six months to a year off from ministry to build his family a new home. I certainly don't mind a missionary having a nice home. But, it must be nice to have the income and funds available to take a year off of work and end up with a new home.

Hello, I'm Elvis Presley

• We were having a lot of sound system issues and were really working hard on resolving them. My sound techs had isolated what they believed was the problem. They believed it was the microphone the worship leader was using. So, they proceeded to replace the microphone. Well, this was a retro Shure mic like Elvis used in the 1950's. The worship leader's attitude was, more or less, "If you take my Elvis mic, me and the band are taking our toys and going home."

Those were just some of the ministry highlights. Believe me, there are many more stories that could be told. So, just in case you don't know who the Church Lady is, I've inserted a recent clip from Saturday Night Live for you to become educated. Please note, it may be offensive to some...

The Truth (Chapter 5)

Mikey, the Television Star

Now that you have had a good laugh, the title isn’t too far off. During the 1980’s, I served as Music Minister at a large independent Pentecostal church that had a syndicated television and radio broadcast. The telecast was broadcasted several times during the week in the city where we lived. As well, it was broadcasted throughout the southeastern United States. It was rather humorous, at times. I would be walking down the street, through the mall, or at the grocery store and be noticed. People would stop me in the mall and ask, “Hey, haven’t I seen you on television?”  The biggest kick out of this I received was running into Southern Gospel music’s Kirk Talley in the mall. Right away, he knew who I was. This was also during the years that the University of Tennessee produced pro athletes like Willie Gault and Reggie White who also attended our church. I actually got to know these guys, produce and perform the music for both of their weddings.

From a ministry perspective, I learned a lot during this season. The pastor and his wife were, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the exemplification of superior pastoral care. I could only hope for, and never achieved, to perform at the level they consistently practiced in this area. Two of the most gracious individuals God ever put into my life. With that said, the years in this ministry were, “the best of times and the worst of times.” When I was asked to join the church/school staff, the pastor had asked me what kind of salary I would require. I put the needs of the church ahead the needs of my family and seriously undercut my salary. I, very naively, thought he would see how ridiculously low I set the mark and raise it. But, he was as shrewd of a business man as he was good at pastoral care. I was locked-in. To add insult to financial misery, my annual increases were only $5 per week for the years I served on fulltime staff. I was basically on-call, 24/7, for anything requiring music. However, if I had to miss office hours for a doctor’s appointment, or a sick day, I was docked. My portfolio consisted of teaching junior high and high school curriculum and music classes (grades K5-12) in a Christian school; I researched, developed and taught intro to computer classes; I prepared and presented two major all school musical/dramatic programs (grades K2-12) per school year; I arranged, produced, conducted and performed live musical arrangements for three distinct services per week, including the telecast/broadcast for live worship, soloists, groups and choir; I accompanied the pastor across the country on evangelistic crusades (I did get additional gratuities for this); I taught approximately 20 children piano per week; I was available for numerous revivals and rallies; and, I provided live music for weddings and funerals. All of this was done for a tidy sum of $12,500 per year. If you adjust that for inflation, it would be about $23,000 in today’s dollars.

Another interesting dynamic was my relationship with the rest of the staff. The ministries of the church included church staff, daycare staff, school staff, office staff, custodial staff and pastoral staff. In pay and responsibility, I was more than just a teacher. Believe it or not, they earned about half of what I earned But, I was less than a pastor. As a result, in many scenarios, I did not fit with either. There are many, many, many stories I could share about these years. Some would be positive. Some would be negative. For the purpose of this blog, we will leave it there for now. I will say that during these years, I was still young, impressionable and downright stupid. I consistently put the needs of the church over the needs of my family. After seven years, we left town and returned to Dayton with our marriage and finances damaged nearly beyond repair. It took several years and a combination of counseling, little to no church involvement and a return to the church where I grew up that we received the love, healing and restoration we needed to be restored into church ministry.

The Truth (Chapter 4)

Denominational Demons - Part Two

Suggested pre-reading, "The Truth (Chapter 3),"“Denominational Demons - Part One.”

I assumed a terribly hurting congregation in our last pastorate. Due to the fragile financial state of the church, I voluntarily took several pay cuts so the church could continue to keep its doors open and pay its bills. As a result, I had to secure outside employment to minimize the negative impact the low salary was making to our personal budget. My job search took me to an employment agency that placed me in a contract position. Going into the job, the recruiter warned me that I was entering a hostile work environment. Man, was she right! Long story short, despite an offer to renew my contract at the end with a 20% raise, I decided not to continue with the renewal.

As it turned out, one of the recruiters of the employment agency was a friend of my denominational district official. After my refusal to renew the contract, my very positive relationship with the district official deteriorated nearly overnight. After several weeks, the truth was revealed. In a very heated, closed door discussion, the district official accused me of being fired and lying about it. He directed me back to his friend to work the situation out. In no uncertain terms, I responded that was no longer an option. Not only had I been slandered, his friend had broken the basics of employment law by discussing my employment relationship, period. The official begged me to keep him out of whatever I chose to do. To which I replied, "I cannot promise you that. You are the one who put yourself into it."

I had no choice but to go to the employment agency to ensure my employment record was accurate. Of course, it accurately confirmed my story. The company graciously issued a letter of memorandum to my defense which I forwarded to the district official. I was totally exonerated. And, the blabbing recruiter found himself unemployed. However, that was the end of that once very cordial relationship.