The Truth (Chapter 3)

Denominational Demons – Part One

Suggested pre-reading, "The Truth (Chapter 2)," "Early Lessons"

Before you get all bent-out-of-shape about the title of this segment, let me clarify that I am not calling any particular denomination, or leader, a demon. Now, let’s move onto our story. 

Donna and I had pioneered a church. Please note, we did not “plant” a church. The difference is a church plant is supported by a mothering church or organization. We “pioneered” a church into existence from nothing. Several months after we started the church, a denomination approached us about joining them. After evaluating the situation, we did. In this denomination’s by-laws, it specifically stated that whenever one of their churches was closed within a city, all proceeds from the liquidation of the assets must be held in escrow to be used in the future by a new congregation within the same city. Several years before we joined this denomination, they had closed a church in our city and liquidated its assets. We were told there was approximately $250K available when we were ready to purchase a facility. Once the church had grown to a state that a permanent facility was feasible, I approached the district leadership of the denomination about securing the designated funds. The response I received read something to the effect of, “Pastor Gibson, we have reviewed your request for the escrowed funds for the Dayton community. Our committee has met and, to be quite frank, releasing those funds to a church plant would be like turning a child lose in a candy store. We are not approving your funding request.”

Subsequently, the denomination amended their by-laws and reapportioned all of the designated city escrowed funds to other agendas. I later found out that the funding designated for Dayton actually went to a northern Ohio ministry entitled, “The Mentoring Mansion.” To add insult to injury, I met a pastor who had successfully secured the funds which had been held in escrow for his community and had built his new congregation a brand new building. I congratulated him on his accomplishment and explained the dilemma we had experienced. He, more or less, called me a liar and stated that the by-laws demanded the escrow funds be used in their designated city and the denomination followed its by-laws. As you can imagine, we never became “buds.” To wrap a nice bow around this situation, I did contact the denomination’s headquarters about what we had experienced. I received a, “Sorry, but we can’t help you, the money is gone,” letter along with a check for $15K to “invest” into our ministry.

As if the aforementioned money issue weren’t aggravating, illegal and unethical enough, worse things happened with this movement. Donna and I co-pastored in our ministry. One particular day, I had to go to my vocational job when our district leader was scheduled to visit the church. Donna was available and he was made aware that she, not I, would be meeting with him. In the middle of a discussion in the parking lot, he basically told Donna to shut-up. That obviously didn’t work, so, this 6’4” tall man physically put his arms tightly around my 5’ 2” wife, pulled her into his embrace and told her to be quiet. Fortunately, an airman pulled into the parking lot at just the right minute. All of a sudden, the district official let her go, got into his car and left. The airman asked Donna, “Are you ok?” She replied she would be fine. Then he asked, “Who was that a**hole?” When we reported this incident to the district office and requested their assistance in resolving it, we were told, “The Bible says to go to the one who offends you, first. You go back to this gentleman and try to work it out before involving us. It is only fair to him.” So, in other words, this “man” physically abuses my wife and the “spiritual authorities” instructed her to go back to confront her abuser, all under the cloak of “Scripture.” Sorry, it just doesn’t “compute” in my brain.

Please stay tuned for the next blog in the series, “Denominational Demons-Part Two.”

The Truth (Chapter 2)

Early Lessons

Suggested pre-reading, “Tender Beginnings, (Chapter 1).”

In my previous post, I explained my road into full-time vocational ministry. In this post, I am going to delve deeper into areas I have never completely divulged. I want to preface what I am preparing to share with a few disclaimers. First, if you have known me throughout the years, at least in any church capacity, do not make an assumption that you know what denomination, denominational leader, church, pastor, board member, church member or ministry I am discussing on any particular point. No matter how well educated your guess, you will probably not “guess” or “discern” correctly. Quite frankly, it is not anybody’s business “who” did what, when, and to whom.

Next, there are “good” leaders and “not-so-good” leaders. There are “good” churches and “not-so-good” churches. There are “good” people and “not-so-good” people. And, I strongly maintain that there are no absolutes in both the “good” and “not-so-good” categories of anything we are discussing. Everyone I am discussing, including myself, are flawed creatures serving a flawless God in the best way we know possible. I believe most people I have encountered have a true love for God. Through the grace of Christ, I hope maintain a healthy earthly relationship with most and top it all off with an eternity together in Heaven.

Also, I am mature enough to realize that the circumstances I share with you did not occur in a vacuum. There were many dynamics at play. Some things I have experienced I must take complete responsibility for. Others were completely outside of my control. Most experiences more than likely fall somewhere on a sliding scale between the two extremes.

Finally, my purpose in sharing is not to bring discouragement to you in your quest for God, quest for truth and your quest for godly relationships. Keep moving forward. Serve God. Support your church. Support your leaders. Just always proceed as wisely as a serpent and harmless as a dove. Above all else, always guard your heart. With all of that said, let’s get down to business.

Probably the first rude awakening in my walk into ministry was the realization that church leaders are not perfect. Yes, common sense says they are not perfect. I know I am not perfect. But, I never dreamed how imperfect people whom we place on pedestals could be. I am not speaking in absolutes; there are exceptions to every rule. However, contemporary churches are businesses. As such, church administration involves financial management, marketing, people management, etc. Do not deceive yourself into thinking that pastors are always looking out for your best interest. Nor, expect every decision to be made upon principle. With the structure of the modern assembly, pastors have to look out for the good of the whole. Just realize that might mean that you will probably get hosed somewhere in the process.

I learned this lesson when I was a lad developing my talents. When I started playing the organ in church, the church literally put a keyed lock on the outlet powering the instrument and did not give me access to the key. When my father consulted with the pastor about utilizing me more in service he was told something to the effect of, “I’m sorry Brother Gibson, I cannot do that. The church organist is in a prominent family of five tithers. You are only one tither. I cannot afford to offend them in this matter.” I learned a valuable lesson on principle, or lack thereof, very early on.

Later in my staff experiences I noticed this same trend. Most pastors proudly state that they do not know how much people contribute to the ministry. Do not be deceived. Most pastors keep a pulse on this. To be good leaders, they really have to. There are very subtle cues they receive to know who are heavy givers and those who are not. For instance, I learned through one experience that when I was told, “The Smith family is faithful,” that meant do not honk them off, they are big givers. And, if I honked them off, regardless if I were right, or wrong, I would have to do basically whatever it took to make them happy and keep them in the congregation, even if it were to the detriment of my personal convictions.

Wow, another blog complete and I haven’t left the early wounds which occurred when I was just a child. Please stay tuned for the next blog in the series, “Denominational Demons-Part One.”